I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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