I wannas sexs uuuuu
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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