You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
