So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
