I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
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Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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