so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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