But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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