apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
