Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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