i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
