when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We are all done wearing pants today
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
