he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
