I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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