I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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