Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
