It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol