I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She's the barista slut.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.