Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
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She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
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If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.