I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back