Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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