Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
