Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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