Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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