There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize