today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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