I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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