Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
