By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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