We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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