do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
