Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
