I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
