He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i came on her dog
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I came so hard my ears popped.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
