its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
