I would go down on you faster than GM stock
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
