you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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