He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
