I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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