I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
