I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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