U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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