he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
