do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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