What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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