Your tits are I can't wait for
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
