the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize