You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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