He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
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It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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