you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
