i don't plan on having that self control this summer
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
