i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
