That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
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I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize