you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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