haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
