You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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