Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
