I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
