she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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