it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
