i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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