with your own penis?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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