wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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