Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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