is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
